About Us and Our Book

Self-doubt, lack of confidence, concern about what others will think, and a list of should-haves are common because everyone knew you as a role and title, and not as a person.

But what happens when that career is no longer part of your life?  

Whether the decision to leave was yours or not, no matter how much time you spent in that role, you might feel like life is unraveling. You miss the structure, the reward of a job well done, the excitement of a new challenge, the comradery of your colleagues, and the social life your 

work provided. With all of that gone, the hunt is on for your own true identity.

 By sharing their personal experiences with a reflective sense of humour, Corinne and Trish hope to help you on your journey and perhaps offer a few short-cuts through the thick fog they sometimes felt trapped in.

We are communications gals, and readily admit we are not trained in anything that resembles psychology or professional self-help strategies. 

Instead, we have simply undertaken to relate our personal stories and experiences with lightness and humour in the thought that they might resonate with you.   

At the end of each short story, you will find a short summary sharing what we learned about ourselves. 

Then we crafted a few questions for you to think about as it relates to your own situation. Don’t think of it as homework. We just feel that if someone had asked us questions when we were going through some of our more confusing days, perhaps we could have emerged from the fog a bit sooner.  

In 2019, after 35 years, I left my beloved media relations role at the Calgary Zoo. It was a tough and complicated decision to make but looking back it was exactly the right one for many reasons.  

That didn’t make it any less uncomfortable and scary. 

Even though I tried to hide my feelings with a smile, in truth, I felt completely off balance for a full year afterwards. I made myself feel busy by filling up my day planner with places to go and people to see, and yet, I could not find peace.

My career upheaval happened a decade prior to Trish's when I was laid off from an executive position I had poured my heart and soul into.   One day I was loving my life; the next day, I had no need to get out of bed, nowhere to go, and no one to see. What was my new purpose supposed to be?  Not only was my career halted, but I realized, my  social life was gone too. I had wound them so tightly together, they were one. 

  “I have read your book… twice! Thank you to both of you. I thought I was far enough into retirement but there it was, an answer to a vague itch I was having. I was missing my sense of community! I have always had a group through school, work and clients who were often like family. These relationships were especially important as they were chosen, and replaced the lack of biological family. What a breakthrough! LOL you didn’t know you two were cheap but effective therapy!”

“You have helped so many people by writing your book and what a gift to the world. Your voice and heart are so needed now more than ever. “

“Finished reading your inspirational book – it is truly amazing, inspiring, and vulnerable. I loved every minute, every page of your Hiccup, only thing is that I am sorry I am finished reading it! Thank you for sharing your story. It will help many people going through the same thing you have as well as insight for others to understand and be inspired!”

“Recently unemployed? I HIGHLY recommend this read! Full of wisdom, relevant experience, and enthusiasm to help you through your own unique journey.”

 “The format is so engaging and I laughed out loud in the section "Gotta Prove Myself".... In fact, I read that part twice because it was so darn funny! You've accomplished something extraordinary with this book.”

“Okay it’s midnight, (way past bedtime) but I am still up and about for good reason. I zoomed through your book. Terrific read! Love the “what I learned” sections and the really positive tone at the end. And great humour throughout. Congrats! Such an accomplishment. I will be recommending it to a whole bunch of folks recently laid off.”

  As we were writing this book, and inevitably discussing the topic with friends and colleagues, we were frequently rewarded with their personal perspectives on identity loss. We thought it might be helpful to share a few of their stories here.

“A good friend was a lawyer at a large firm. She was so focused on becoming partner, she had no time for herself, her hobbies or finding the right guy. I asked if she wanted her gravestone to read, ‘she was a great lawyer’ or ‘the firm will remember her with great admiration’. Less than a year later she was employed by a large conglomerate as in-house legal counsel. Losing her identity to a law firm concerned only with billable hours was in the end not the life she wanted.”

“Identity? Perhaps what defines a person should be what they want to be remembered for after they are no longer here. That thought makes the value of one’s resume seem far less significant than their strength of character and acts of kindness.”

  “I taught school for 10 years before taking a maternity leave. I looked forward to being at home, but after the busyness of the first few months, I missed the camaraderie of the staff. Life had changed. It was new and exciting but also tiring, and I wanted a little bit of my old life back. Visiting the school with our new baby, I found life for my colleagues went on and after a while nobody cared about me. Even when we give everything we have to our job, within a year or two of leaving, no one remembers you anyway.”

“With our youngest graduating from high school, my husband and I are acting on our life-long dream of moving to the ocean. Trying to put this dream into action has been mentally challenging as I wrestle with giving up my in-person parent identity, work identity, volunteer identity—all the identities that are associated with the city I’ve lived in all my life. I just heard a helpful new transition verb: ‘bounce.’ I love the idea that we’re bouncing and removing typical constraining labels like ‘retiring’ or ‘leaving’ or ‘empty nester.’ I’ll never think of myself as retired or living as a lonely bird. I’ve now reframed this exciting time as bouncing from one great place to the next, and it’s amazing how it really does feel like I have more air under my feet!”

  “I was laid off once and chose to leave another job, and each time I struggled with the aftermath. Finding my identity again was difficult after both experiences and led to self-doubt and concerns about what other people would think. Even though I am not someone who makes decisions based on what others think, it can’t help but affect you when everyone knows you mainly as a role or title, and not as a person.” 

“The most significant time when I felt my identity was lost was many years ago when I was going through my divorce. I had not realized that over time I had bent and moulded myself into the role and person I thought I should be. Along the way, little by little, I lost sight and awareness of who I was—my inner guidance, my verve, my light was almost unrecognizable. When my marriage ended, I truly felt like a puddle with no shape, no form, no strength. But out of that puddle a new form took place, and I am in awe of the strength I now feel. It did take some time, but I think allowing trusted family and friends to lend you their strength and to help you is key. Love to you on your journey.”